Hard Call
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Phil has rapidly deteriorated to the point that Melinda may have to make a hard call.


**I don't own Agents of SHIELD and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Warning **for major character death and brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

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Phil's rapid deterioration caught the entire team off guard and forced him and Melinda to finally come clean with them. Naturally upset about this, Phil and Melinda tried to play it off but they knew the others didn't buy a word. However, that wasn't their main problem – the time had come for her to possibly and finally make the hard call she had been dreading ever since Fury roped her in on Phil's resurrection. She crossed her arms and defiantly glared at him. "You're asking me to kill you."

"Promised," he reminded her.

She threw her hands up in the air. "I know I promised, Phil, but there are many other options. We don't have to go to the extreme choice. I never thought I'd have to fulfill my end of the bargain. Do you know what this could do to me? Bahrain tore me down and I just now finally found my way back up from rock bottom."

Phil nodded sadly at her. "Sorry." He didn't speak in full sentences nowadays but Melinda always knew what he meant as a result of knowing him for so long. "Take care."

"Of the team?" Melinda guessed correctly. She was about to take over the entire agency and wasn't entirely sure she was ready for this, especially after murdering him, if she actually did. "I will. I care about them and they will be well taken care of. You don't have to worry about them. I'll love them enough for the both of us, okay?" Her voice broke and she hated herself for it. He needed her to take charge and not fall apart at the seams. That's why she was here.

"No worrying."

She scoffed. "Too late for that now, Phil."

"Gun," Phil replied, gesturing towards his desk.

Her eyes zeroed in on the object she didn't want to use and Melinda forced herself to walk over to it. They should probably do this in another room but she couldn't bring herself to leave, force him to face the kids (their sons and daughters) before he died. Fuck, what she was about to do? She gently and slowly picked the gun up and returned to his side. "We can find another way," she tried again to no avail.

He wrapped his arms around her for a hug and she had to force herself to stop the tears from welling up. Melinda had a job to do and she couldn't fuck this up, as sick as it was. "You give very nice hugs," she finally conceded and he huffed out a laugh.

Phil answered with the brief response of, "Thanks."

She felt safe in her arms and cursed herself for wanting more of this since it'd never happen again. Melinda was about to kill the man she loved, her best friend who had been with her after Bahrain and tried his hardest and best to make sure she knew she was loved. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this right now but you're welcome. Now I know I sound like a broken record but I have to ask you again. Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Sorry, I needed to make sure." She didn't understand why he was so upset (another lie, she knew why). He wouldn't have to live with the fallout and rebuild an entire agency with a team that would most likely hate her after this (Melinda wouldn't blame them for it).

He stepped back and watched her sadly. "Do it," Phil ordered.

Melinda lifted the gun up with shaky hands. "I can't do it!" she suddenly cried out and then dropped the weapon back down.

"Can." Phil knew this was too much for anyone to deal with – even the Cavalry – but this needed to be done and this was the person he trusted most in this world. He knew how unfair this was and she'd probably retreat into herself afterwards but no one else could make the hard call.

She reluctantly lifted the gun back up and her hands continued to shake. Pointing it at him was practically impossible but Melinda managed to do it. And that's when the dam broke and every emotion she hid poured out in a tidal wave. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," she chanted. The sobs wracked her frame as the grief, fear, and anger began to overwhelm her.

And for the first time in weeks, Phil spoke a full, clear sentence that shocked her. "I love you too, Melinda." He picked up her hand and guided it towards his forehead. In a moment of weakness, she pressed their lips together.

"I love you," Melinda continued to repeat over and over again and hated herself even more as his eyes also filled with tears. She never expected it to end this way and she thought that nothing could ever top learning of his death before but she had been horribly wrong. Melinda briefly entertained the thought of turning the gun on herself after completing this horrific task but knew she couldn't leave the kids in the lurch like that. They were going to have a hard enough time struggling with Phil's death and this would completely and utterly destroy them after all the other shit they had been through. It'd be the straw that broke the camel's break. But she had to stop stalling even though she honestly didn't want to or think she could.

And because she couldn't look him in the eyes as she killed him she closed her eyes and pulled the trigger. Phil's body collapsed in a heap and Melinda followed him down. She proceeded to vomit all over the floor as the horrific events of the day finally caught up to her.

The sound of a gunshot brought the others running to the office and they found Melinda curled up around Phil, sobbing hysterically and refusing to let go of the man she loved.


End file.
